did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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