if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
