Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
