we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
