This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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