If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
