All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
