so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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