i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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