There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
