She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize