Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
