If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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