i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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