I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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