You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
