i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
