Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
