see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My cat gives me a boner
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
