Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
