The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Actions speak louder than pants.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
