And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sorry about my life...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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