so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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