I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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