what day is it and did you see me today?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
