apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
