did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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