I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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