apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize