Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
