What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
