i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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