You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
