Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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