I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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