i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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