my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
