Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
