If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
