Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
