I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
