My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️