Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
