i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
