Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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