NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
