Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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