We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
