Pregnant stripper...not hot.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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