I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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