I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
