Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
