i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
