the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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