see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
