We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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