I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
