She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
