he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
